Nothing to Say..... Never!

I am in a writing mood, but I really haven't much to say. Not that that has stopped me from writing whole pages in the past:). Well, here goes....
Have any of you ever had sin (strongholds) in your life that you just can't seem to shake. I have been struggling with some sins personally lately. It really bites! I feel like I can honestly say that I know inside and out the effects of letting sins (or satan) control your life, or at least a part of it. A truth I have just learned today is that my sins effect not only me, but my whole family and everyone around me. When I allow satan to have control over any part of my life, my whole life seems to show reprecussions. I know this is something that I should have caught on to before. I mean how many times have I given into this temptation and not noticed it? Maybe I did, but I just ignored it. Well, I get it now. So, what do I do now? Where do I go from here? Do I just give up, because I seem to be burried with no way out? If I do decide to keep fighting, will the Lord still have mercy on me and help me thru? I wouldn't blame Him if He didn't want anything to do with me. I have certainly not given Him hope that I truly want to fight with Him on this. Well, until today that is. God put a slight panic in my life today about this. He showed me how miserable my life and the lives of the people around me are because of my giving in to temptation. He allowed me to feel a glimse of what it is like to live without Him. I can say from serious experience that I wouldn't have a hope of anything good in my life without the Lord.
The amazing part is that the Lord is still willing to fight with me in this area. Today I was reading Gods word (sharpening my sword) and Jesus showed me that there is not a temptation that I can go thru that He hasn't already gone thru himself. It was just as hard for Him to get thru as it is for me, mind you he probably made the right choices a little quicker than I did, but the point is that he has been thru it too. I am not alone. I'm not the only one who has had to struggle with this. There have been times that I have wondered if I was satans little puppet, if it is inevitable that I will always give in to these temptations. They seem to surround me with no way out sometimes, but The Lord says He will ALWAYS provide a way out. ALWAYS! I am never burried beyond the hand of the Jesus. He can always help me out of my struggles.
The kindof interesting part of this whole time in my life is that I know that after this, I will truly know what it is like to struggle with temptation. I will know what it is like to feel all the horrible feelings that go along with giving into it. I know now that one of the worst feelings in the world is knowing that you heard the Lord crying out for you to turn to him and you chose to dissobey anyway. I know that instant gratification isn't worth the aftermath. Now the Lord is teaching me how to fight thru this struggle. My mother always tells me " If you are given a test and you don't allow God to help you pass it the first time, than that same test (maybe in different formats) will keep showing up over and over again until you pass it. So, just study (the lords word) hard this time and pass and then you won't have to struggle with this ever again". It might come up again, but you will already know how to get thru it of it does.
So, although it is a struggle, I will REJOICE in my trials, because I will not have to go thru it again, I just gotta get it right this time. I also rejoice because I know that my relationships (firends, family, my spouse) in the future will not be shaddowed by my struggles with this. I will be able to enjoy my life so much better by getting this over with now. I have had alot of these huge struggles lately, it must mean that the Lord has something huge planned for me in the future, otherwise he would have probably just left me in the hole I dug for myself. I have alot of work to do, I have to keep myself prepared for the battle.
Please pray for me friends, that I will keep hope, hear the Lords voice, and retain God's word so that I will be able to Repell the temptations satan will send my way.
I am praying for all of you too, I know the struggles some of you are going thru now too and I will pray these same things for your life.
Blessings all!

hehe - and I didn't have anything to say, HA! WiLd!