Thinking Ahead...

Currently ReadingWhat Every Man Wants in a Woman; What Every Woman Wants in a ManBy John Hagee, Diana Hagee, J. Charles and Sandra Burrsee related

I know this book may seem like a funny read for someone who isn't even married yet, but the truth is Marriage is definitley something that God has planned for me (and my dad had it on his nightside table so I picked it up). but here's the thing... God really wants to help me to make it perfect, from the time HE choses to show my man to me to the day both of us die. I'm thinking that if this is going to be one of the biggest decisions of my life outside of making God number one, than I should at least start preparing for it now. Then I will first of all know what to look for in a Guy and then what to expect once I've chosen the right one.
So far I've learned that men and women actually, chemically think very differently. I always just thought that men could think more clearly (less emotionally) than us girls, because our clear thinking gets rudely interupted every month by an incontrolable force of hormones and emotion, but as it turns out, we really do just think emotionally anyway. Men think Logically. I guess that's why they're the Leaders of our families and our Governments and girls aren't. The country would be so overrun by emotion that nothing would ever get done in a crisis.
The other thing I've learned is that Men truly do think about sex 95 persent of the time. So, our job as wives are to think about their needs before our own... especially in that area, because Lord knows that if were thinking for ourselves we'll probably say no to that invitation at least 50 percent of the time.
So, I need to chose a Godly leader who is very attentive to my needs, as I will be his, patient and physically perfect (hehe, JK, well a girls gotta have her standards, maybe that's one of the reasons I'm not married yet... anyway...) because once I've picked him, he is the leader, to the day we die. The hardest part for me (the part I can't quite wrap my head around yet) is how we are supposed to make a beautiful symphony of a life when both of our brains are pulling in two different directions. I'm not even sure it is possible for my brain to think logically at all, much less, to try to do it so that I can please my husband or see where he's comming from. I guess I'll learn that in chapter 3:) or maybe God will show me how when I actually have to learn (when I meet my man). But one thing is made clear in this book (written by a couple who have been married many happy years) and that is that MEN can't and shouldn't be forced to change.... it ain't gonna happen, no matter how hard you try girls, and the same goes for women. So pick em' right the first time, because for christians it's the only time!
Who knows! For right now, I'm learning new things and growing and chillin' and waiting. God you have complete control... PLEASE MAKE HIM HOT!! LOL!! hehe!! The shallowness shines thru once in a while. Hey, I'm just putting in my order ;)

Nothing to Say..... Never!

I am in a writing mood, but I really haven't much to say. Not that that has stopped me from writing whole pages in the past:). Well, here goes....
Have any of you ever had sin (strongholds) in your life that you just can't seem to shake. I have been struggling with some sins personally lately. It really bites! I feel like I can honestly say that I know inside and out the effects of letting sins (or satan) control your life, or at least a part of it. A truth I have just learned today is that my sins effect not only me, but my whole family and everyone around me. When I allow satan to have control over any part of my life, my whole life seems to show reprecussions. I know this is something that I should have caught on to before. I mean how many times have I given into this temptation and not noticed it? Maybe I did, but I just ignored it. Well, I get it now. So, what do I do now? Where do I go from here? Do I just give up, because I seem to be burried with no way out? If I do decide to keep fighting, will the Lord still have mercy on me and help me thru? I wouldn't blame Him if He didn't want anything to do with me. I have certainly not given Him hope that I truly want to fight with Him on this. Well, until today that is. God put a slight panic in my life today about this. He showed me how miserable my life and the lives of the people around me are because of my giving in to temptation. He allowed me to feel a glimse of what it is like to live without Him. I can say from serious experience that I wouldn't have a hope of anything good in my life without the Lord.
The amazing part is that the Lord is still willing to fight with me in this area. Today I was reading Gods word (sharpening my sword) and Jesus showed me that there is not a temptation that I can go thru that He hasn't already gone thru himself. It was just as hard for Him to get thru as it is for me, mind you he probably made the right choices a little quicker than I did, but the point is that he has been thru it too. I am not alone. I'm not the only one who has had to struggle with this. There have been times that I have wondered if I was satans little puppet, if it is inevitable that I will always give in to these temptations. They seem to surround me with no way out sometimes, but The Lord says He will ALWAYS provide a way out. ALWAYS! I am never burried beyond the hand of the Jesus. He can always help me out of my struggles.
The kindof interesting part of this whole time in my life is that I know that after this, I will truly know what it is like to struggle with temptation. I will know what it is like to feel all the horrible feelings that go along with giving into it. I know now that one of the worst feelings in the world is knowing that you heard the Lord crying out for you to turn to him and you chose to dissobey anyway. I know that instant gratification isn't worth the aftermath. Now the Lord is teaching me how to fight thru this struggle. My mother always tells me " If you are given a test and you don't allow God to help you pass it the first time, than that same test (maybe in different formats) will keep showing up over and over again until you pass it. So, just study (the lords word) hard this time and pass and then you won't have to struggle with this ever again". It might come up again, but you will already know how to get thru it of it does.
So, although it is a struggle, I will REJOICE in my trials, because I will not have to go thru it again, I just gotta get it right this time. I also rejoice because I know that my relationships (firends, family, my spouse) in the future will not be shaddowed by my struggles with this. I will be able to enjoy my life so much better by getting this over with now. I have had alot of these huge struggles lately, it must mean that the Lord has something huge planned for me in the future, otherwise he would have probably just left me in the hole I dug for myself. I have alot of work to do, I have to keep myself prepared for the battle.
Please pray for me friends, that I will keep hope, hear the Lords voice, and retain God's word so that I will be able to Repell the temptations satan will send my way.
I am praying for all of you too, I know the struggles some of you are going thru now too and I will pray these same things for your life.
Blessings all!

hehe - and I didn't have anything to say, HA! WiLd!

Happy Day

Today was a great, but not very eventful day. Caleb spent the night with us last night, because my mom had to go to work early this morning. It is really nice to have him home again for a little while. We went out to breakfast/brunch this morning at this really cool cafe in Hollindale beach. It was really yummy! This afternoon I switched our living room around. It was such hard work, I swear each piece of furniture was like 500 lbs! But it is done now and it looks lovely. Tonight I think Caleb, Emily and I are going to go and see the movie "Flight Plan". We have been waiting for like a month to see this movie. I can't wait. Tomarrow is church. I'm very happy with the church we have been going to. I think we've found a place where we all feel comfortable, but we also get challenged. our church is possibley sending a team to New Orleans to help out with hurricane relief. I think I'm going to check it out tomarrow. I would love to be involved, hands on with that. They need crazy amounts of volunteers. Now I just have to train my sister on how to do my job at work... not that my job will really take alot of training. All I do is ring in a customer, wait an hour, then ring in another customer, then close. Not that hard, but my boss is kinda a jew and he watches his security tapes like a hawk to make sure that he isn't paying us any more than he has to. So what I will really have to train her to do is to look like you're hard at work when there is really absolutely nothing to do. That is the true art and I am a MASTER! lol!
Well, I have to go and make supper for mom and dad and then get ready for FLIGHT PLAN!!! YAY!!
Blog out!

90 Miles To Freedom!!

I have to go to work today! BOOooo!! I'm not in a sitting around a golf shop mood, I want to swim! Speaking of swimming.... Today there was a big breaking news story about a rusty old boat carrying a bunch Cubans trying to make its way into the United States. Now, when I lived in Canada I had never even heard about these things happening. To tell you the truth, I had to laugh at first. I mean, they pick the craziest things to come across in. Like a while ago there was a bunch comming across in a truck with big barrels tied underneath so it would float. I'm sure it would have been a good idea if they had made it to shore (they could just take off the barrels and drive away), but ofcourse they didn't make it to shore. As I kept watching it did get kinda sad though. I felt kindof ignorant for laughing, but I didn't realise that they were leaving because their country treats them so badly. I truly just thought that they were a bunch of guys who just couldn't get across the boarder, so they decided to try to sneak in. I didn't really catch on to the fact that they were running from their horrible government. That is so sad. It makes me thankful that I live under the government we have, with all its flaws, at least we don't have to try to sneak into other countries to get freedom.

Anyway, those are my thoughts so far today. MAN! I really don't want to go to work, but my sister is going to come with me today so it might not be so boring.
Blog ya later!

Many Thing are Unsure, But the Lord Remains the Same!

Have you ever had a week (or year) where you just feel like throwing in the towel EVERYDAY?! Well, I have for sure had one of those weeks. This past week has for sure been one of the worst, most trying weeks of my life! Let me try to explain (vent) in the most positive way that I can right now. For a while now God seems to have been on a real teaching (life changing), HARD core clean sweep in my life. I am totally the type of person who learns everything the hard way... you know one of those really thick headed people who hears Gods first warnings, but doesn't always listen to them. Well, this past year, God has really been convicting and strongly teaching me to put Him first in EVERY situation. That HE needs to be number 1 in my life every second of every day. To be honest, while I was living in Canada this was not really that big of a problem. I mean, God was my best friend ( sometimes my only friend) while I was living there. I was on my own... just me and God and life was great! Then however, I moved down here to Florida and all of a sudden my family became number 1 and God took a backseat to them. I mean I hadn't seen them in two years, so I was really enjoying the love and protection that I had forgotten they could provide for me.

Soon I started noticing that we were fighting more and more and that the spaces between fights were getting shorter and shorter. My mom claiming that I should be going to school and working.... and me taking the opposing side that I can't get working or student visas without money(that I didn't have). I am realising now that the true reason that I was angry with her was because I had been putting all of my trust and my love into my parents (they were number 1) and I was feeling really unloved and hurt and let down. There is no pain like feeling completely alone and helpless. I realise now that the only way to avoid feeling this way is to put my everything, every thought and emotion and all my love and trust into God. He is the only one who can give me life long stability and love. It sounds like an open/shut case, like black and white, but there is a very big grey area that God is helping me separate right now.

That is the fact that my parents still have a very big part of my heart. God knows what he's doing ( allowing to happen) and I'm sure he will be with me till he finishes his good work in me, but right now I am feeling very vulnerable and unsure of anything other than that God is there,,, wheather I can see him or not! The main reason for my unsuredness is that this week my mother took my little brother and (after kicking my sister and I out) moved herself out. My sis and I are staying in my appartment (no biggie), but we don't know where mom is staying and she won't talk to us. Part of the hurt is that my dad is VERY depressed and is really setting himself up for Satans attacks because of his bad attitude... well, to be honest, none of us are exactly leaning on God thru this very trying time. It is so hard. I really don't want my parents to get a divorce and I know that God doesn't want that either, but what I really think God is trying to show me is that HE NEEDS TO BE NUMBER 1 in my life. If he was than, as much as I love my parents, my focus would not be on the problem and my attitude would not come from whatever sercumstance I find myself in, because I'm sure I will find more trying times than this before the end of my life here on earth, and I would rather learn how to keep God first now than later.

Please my friends... pray that God will triumph over this situation in each of the lives of my family and I and that this will not be the end, but just a needed personal growing time for all of us.

Many things are unsure right now, but I know that the Lord remains the same. Please God, help me to trust in you and give me a strong, secure and TRUTHFUL mind as I (with your help) make my way thru this obsticle. You are my only chance!
KT

God is Powerful and IN CONTROL!!

You guys... this is CRAZY!! My friend had this posted on her website. This Proghet said this in a church service in Texas on July 22/05, BEFORE hurricane Katrina!! THE LORD OUR GOD IS IN COMPLETE CONTROL!!!
Kim Clement on July 22, 2005: "New Orleans . . . a judgment is coming, says the Spirit of the Lord!"by Kim ClementProphetic Image Expressionshttp://www.kimclement.com/
Houston, TX July 22, 2005Servants of God:Enough of past curses reminding you of yesterday's failures. Enough of New Orleans and its treachery! Enough of stealing the Ark of the Covenant from my people just because you had those surrounding you that had no faith. Caleb said we are able to take this land. Joshua said we are able to take this land. But ten voices arose against the Lord God, and they would stone my servant Moses and say let us stone them and raise up another leader so that we may go back to Egypt. Would you go back to your dung? Would you go back to your vomit? O New Orleans, God speaks to you from Houston tonight and says "Enough of this!" "For a judgment is coming," says the Spirit of the Lord, "and I will take the men that have stood in faith and raise them above the flood that shall destroy those that constantly bicker and stand against my servant Moses, or my servant Bilbo. I want you to understand there are great men in New Orleans that have faith, but you have been set aside, not to lose but to win. Enough of this! For I will take the curses, and the bodies will even rise and they will come forth on the water. But I will keep you, and the stench of death will only last a few days. And then, what I promised two years ago will come to pass for August, September, and October of this year; I made a promise it would happen. God said, "Be strengthened now. Be strengthened now, for enough is enough," says the Lord.
By Kim ClementProphetic Image Expressionshttp://www.kimclement.com/
Listen to the Prophecy:http://video.elijahlist.com/downloads/72205KimClement.mp3